I have always taken lots of pictures. My parents got me a camera when I was ten and I became the self proclaimed photographer for every event, every vacation, every site scene on every vacation, every bug that interested me, every friend I ever had, etc., etc., etc...I took lots of pictures. I had one of those polaroid rectangular camera that you had to put a square shaped flash cube on top that flashed 4 times per cube. I still have it somewhere and I think it still works.
I used to scrapbook. I scrapped everyone of those vacation, family, friend photos into those amazing albums with sticky pages...that eat away at your photos and eventually had to be taken out and stored in boxes! Then, scrapbooking revolutionized! It became acid free, and sooo creative! I fell in love with it! I redid all those old albums. Some I redid exactly as they had been with the safer materials, others I got creative with. I scrapped my courtship with my sweetheart, my wedding and our children. At one time I had four children age 4 and under...a 4 yr old, twin two year olds and a newborn!
Still, I took LOTS of pictures and I scrapbooked! I actually had prints made and put them in chronological albums. They all have albums..... up until they are 6. My baby turned 10 yesterday!
As we sat and looked through her albums, guilt and panic set in...Four years behind...on just hers! Oh My goodness! How did I keep up back then and not now? How did I get so far behind? Then I took a breath and started thinking.
I used to only take pictures of my own kids, lots of pictures. I used to have a film camera, a Minotla 35 mm. I love that camera! I will not part with it...even if it does just sit in my closet. I sent in the little rolls to be developed and everything. I have boxes...and boxes of prints. I have blurry prints, over exposed prints, underexposed prints, no one is looking at the camera prints...and yes, I have some really great prints too.
(This is a picture of a picture)
Then one Christmas, 2004, I got a little Sony Cybershot point and shoot. The transition from film to digital was a little exhilarating, freeing but also a little sad. In the beginning, I still got prints made of digital files, but I only printed the good ones. My boxes of photos started getting smaller. Then I got a Sony a100 35mm DSLR and started shooting RAW. The images sat on the computer unedited for long periods of time because of the overwhelming task of editing and that was just my own kids. I got Photoshop and started the process of leaning. Ten years later, I am still in that process! There is sooooo much to learn always! Which is a good thing, but I have to say, sometimes I really miss the simplicity of getting what you get...I do not miss the disappointment that sometimes came when I would excitedly open the pack of 24! I learned, I practiced, I edited! More and More often I would order prints and know exactly what I was getting and was thrilled to open the packages and see perfect pictures of the most important things I had ever done, starting up at me.
I loved taking pictures, I loved scrapbooking them. I talked about that love and began sharing that love. More and more often I was asked to take pictures of others. Back in the day my "thing" was white tulle. Mommy/baby pictures in white tulle. It was all I did for others. It was what I did for me...
I loved it. I loved it then...Looking at it now, I see soooooo many things I would have done differently....but the heart of it, the emotion of it, the love captured, would have stayed exactly the same! As I looked over the scrapbooks of my baby girl she grew up before my eyes(well...up til 6). I was transported to that time, I could pull up those feelings and memories like they were yesterday. I reflected on the pictures I took for myself and the pictures I now take for others. I still feel guilty for getting behind, but I am so happy for the many opportunities I have had to give others memories captured in minutes but that will last forever. How amazing is that? it is incredible to me to be able to be a part of that because I am a professional photographer. Oh, there are soooooo many out there with skill sets higher than mine and they inspire me to be greater than I am today. I still am a word of mouth photographer, and that works for me. I do not shoot or edit for a full time job, but I still take pictures. Lots of pictures, shot in RAW, that need to be edited, for me, and for others. So, my scrapbooks are a bit behind, my house my be at times disorderly and at times I may be crazier than usual, but it is ok for now. I took a breath. I let go of the guilt and I took ownership of the opportunities of a professional photographer.
